You’re utterly alone.
You’re Adam’s first sin, and the many following reincarnation of this sin.

I remember the puberty event of our neighbor’s daughter.
There has been all these cries mixed with laughter.
“You’re a big girl now, my dear”, everyone tells her, right before placing her into a wooden box that’s enclosed with thousands of locks.
And I ask myself: How could such a small amount of blood be able to draw such limits and rules for one’s life?

You’re utterly alone now.
They will decide everything on your behalf, and speak for your tongue.
You have full freedom, though it’s best to lower your voice whenever it’s possible
And maybe you could put on some makeup to look better.
You have full freedom, but working is such a tiring act
And all the beasts are lingering in the forest waiting for you to go out.
Other than all of this, you have full freedom.
You could be whoever you want to be… but yourself.

Now that our neighbor’s daughter has become everybody’s favorite “Marionette”…
Her clothing, voice, and laughs whether at home or outside
Her relationships and friendships
And her close and furthest future.
Her entire life now revolves around few words:
“What would people say about you now?”

You’re ever alone.
And so this loneliness doesn’t cause you any worry,
Someone will find you a prober husband.
You will be the perfect housewife tomorrow morning, little girl.

A close friend had talked to me about the pains of the first menstruation.
I told her that all this heaviness, is an entire world that lies in her womb now.
And that all this ache in the back, is all the people preventing her from doing things.
And all this racing heartbeat, is all the love affairs that she will ever miss.
My friend laughed at me, and made me swear not to tell that I know what I had known from her about this great secret of female’s world.
And she apologized for any further meeting for us in the future… because the big girl cannot go out with male friends anymore.


Aya Alnamly

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