Jonny Ardor – NaPoWriMo

Day 18 – Growing Up
Quarter of a century
Many lessons learned
Just like in parenthood
Slow days quickly became years
Who would’ve that we end up here
Looking like this, feeling like that about
What comes next, only God knows
where we’re heading
Worrying means I doubt the One who
knows my fate
Ashamed for my shortcomings until I
had a mission
Wasn’t born to do it all, but some skills
with precision
Dominate demons when I serve God in
Humble beginnings with my eyes set on
the vision
Leap of faith, more than a calculated risk
Some of my detractors are my kin, count
my sins
Not my wins, aint no silent treatment, to
me you dont exist
Only friends respect and see me, my
heart beats for wife and kids

Day 19 – Small Steps
Last Relapse
From blackish-blue to pinkish-red
The child walks
The corners of the mouth rise
The pen moves
Insecurities inhabited my mind
Inhibited my soul from self-expression
Had to break my mind frame
To lighten my depression
Broke with my old habits
Enrichened by new blessings
Discipline rewards students
Faithful to fundamentals
Will it finally be my last relapse?
Internal and external hurdles caused
my setbacks
In order to jump far, you need to step
You took a run-up to your blessings
from your mishaps

Day 21 – Everything and Nothing
You could have enough money to show off
and not worry about rent
Whether you own mansions or sleep in a
Problems dont dissolve into thin air
because of salaries
Be it mental health, self-esteem or feuds
with family
For me, your ugly reality was more
I thought we’d stick together, you wound
up disappearing
Your verdict of me pronounced without a
You lost the sparkle in your eyes, I hope
youre healing
Overworked, underpaid, insincere,
Emotionally, not dealing with your inner
world appropriately
Unfortunately, looking in the wrong places
God denied his victory until he aims for
In humility and courage, not for a false
sense of security
This world feasts on heathens and spits
out their bones so easily
Everything we think we own, will rot and
wither equally
Love is all we have to give and get to live
here peacefully

Day 22 – When I was ten
I dreamt of winning a World Cup
At home I was always welcome
I learnt about Ten Commandments
Didn’t yet know the Black Panthers
Limitless imagination and curiosity
Playing felt like a necessity
Just as pleasing parents incessantly
In many ways, these two got the best of me
The keen observer noticed problems before
I had an inkling of the hardships in my
Sometimes we’d eat my favorite food too
Parents were less present when worried
about security
They plastered smiles on for me in a hurry
Working class heroes have hope and hustle
as their favourite options
I didn’t become the lawyer like I used to
The world is unfair, I’d rather make art and
pray about it

Day 28 – Distorted
Like walking in a
house of mirrors
Falling prey to the
Only illusions are
reflected on the glass
And projected from
an insecure mindset
in our heads

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