I am tired

I am tired. And like any leaving thing I am in pain
as if I was a calm stone
you will never hear my whining, but
in the presence of silence, I am falling apart…  

My fate is just a butterfly’s wing
sewing her wound from fire
and pulling the sunlight towards her green land
the wind is gnawing at her nectar
but despite the sorrow you always see her smiling.

I am not my entire “me”
I am just a summary of people’s wounds
people who lost their peace
in the tired orchards’ sweat
those orchards were just harvesting our lives
while we thought they were singing our survival’s anthem…
Who are we?
What will be the history while our identity is wearing the fog?
Are we those who inherit the absence?
Is our blood a metaphor for tomorrow’s birth?
And where is tomorrow?

Capel comes close to our destinies and sinks his lust fang, avenging the sand
while the salt of the stones is getting bored with our footsteps
and the hand of our speech was shattered into pieces of poetry
without any rhythm or meaning.
It worships the secret of our owner
and claims that we’ve ascended to our bottom…

This is our country, to which Fairouz has gifted the smile of her voice
and kept covering it with shawls made of basil.
The basil is dead
but it’s still alive in yesterday’s soil
in a mother’s breast which still misses a sip from the infant
it’s still alive in the presence of those absent
and inside of those residing in the hills of my memory.

Don’t sail with my heart away from the port
just leave it waving at the departed ones
at the call
and at those returning from the call with disappointment.
They’re back as if they were merely an echo of the name
but not the name itself
they mastered loving the neutrality and swore
that the country is a country so that they could enjoy
a quiet rhyme while the latter is bandaging its “m” letter.

I am tired, and like any leaving thing I am in pain
I would betray my sadness if I laughed
I would betray my voice if I got older
To all in my country:
I wish you didn’t get older!
I wish you didn’t get older!

Mohammed Faky

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